ACURA America Can Use Real Automobiles Asia’s Curse Upon Rural America
AMC All Mistakes Combined
AUDI All Unnecessary Devices Installed
BMW Bavarian Money Waster Break My Windshield Buy More Women Bought Me Wife
BUICK Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King
CADILLAC Crazy And Demented Idiots Like Large American Cars Crazy Aunt Drives It Like A Lunatic Across the Country
CHEVROLET Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques
CHRYSLER Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair
CITROEN Car Is Thoroughly Rotten, Overhaul Every Night
DAEWOO Damn Asian Engineering Works Only Occasionally
DODGE Damn Old Dudes Go Everywhere Dead On Date Guarantee Expired
FERRARI Fast, Exciting, Racy, Red, And Really Impractical
FIAT Failure In Italian Automotive Technology Found In A Trashcan Fix It Another Time
FORD First On Rust and Deterioration Frequently Overhauled, Rarely Driven Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed Fabricated Of Refried Dung Fault Of R&D
GM Generally Malfunctions
GMC Got A Mechanic Coming? Garage Man's Companion
HONDA Helping Out Nips Destroy America Honda Options: No Deal Available!
HUMMER Huge Ugly Mother, Mostly Eats Resources
HYUNDAI Hope You Understand: Nothing.s Drivable And Inexpensive
INFINITI It Never Found Its Niche: It.s Truly Inconsequential
JAGUAR Just A Guess U Are Rich
KIA Korean Industrial Accident
LAMBORGHINI Loser Always Maintains Big Old Rotten Gunk; Hardly Inflates Nobody’s Image
LOTUS Loads Of Trouble Usually Serious
MASERATI Must Also Suggest Extra Rope And Towing Implements
MERCEDES Money Envy Reliably Causes Every Derogatory Expletive to Surface Many Expensive Repairs Can Eventually Discourage Extra Sales Most Eccentric Rich Capitalists Enjoy Driving Expensive Sedans
MINI Moron Inside Notably Insane
NISSAN Nine Idiots Standing, Saying Absolutely Nothing More
OLDSMOBILE Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick`s Irregular Leftover Equipment Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
PONTIAC Poor Old Nitwit Thinks Its A Cadillac
PORSCHE Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
RENAULT Retarded Engine, No Acceleration, Ugly Lump of Trash
SALEEN Some Aristocrats Love Every Expensive Novelty
SATURN Same American Trash Under Revised Name
TOYOTA Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
TRIUMPH This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
VOLVO Vehicles Of Low Velocity Owners Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VOLKSWAGEN Very Obsolete, Losers Knowingly Suffer With All German Engineered Nonsense Virtually Worthless V-tec Wins!!